She Doesn't Need Saving!

 

Women in labor don't need saving. They need support…

There is a notion that a woman in labor needs saving from the discomfort, or lengthy time and/or pressure of labor.

Truth is she does not need saving.

She needs support.

She needs help and resources to guide her every step of the way. Sometimes that support can be in verbal cues, reassurance, love and kindness. Telling her that she’s strong, powerful and amazing.   Sometimes that support is physical with massage and pressure points, holding her hand, having your head placed on hers, or slowly breathing setting the pace for her to breathe in and out. Assuring her that her birth rhythm is just perfect.

Women in labor need to be allowed space. To empower themselves and own their birth.  To ask questions and make sound decisions. To be an active participant, not have things done to them.

The role of the Doula is to support the mother. To be the sturdy chair in the corner that mom can sit on or hold onto. Then when she doesn't need it, is still there quietly holding the space.

The woman in labor does not need a superhero to come in and fix her. There is nothing to be saved from.  Doulas are more like Sherpas, guiding a laboring woman up the mountain. The doula can show the laboring woman some options along the way. Supportive routes when detours emerge. Ultimately the expectant mother must climb the mountain herself. It’s her birth journey.

Whether she reaches the top and sees the view from the mountain peak, or turns down the mountain, it is her journey. She needs no saving. She needs support, love and reassurance. Birth like life, is a journey. No two adventures are ever a like. We must allow each birth to unfold the way it was meant to.

Postpartum Doula Worth It?

Is it worth it?

It’s a question I ask myself often.  Whether I am about to spend my time, money or energy on something, I want to know if what I am about to do is going to be beneficial to me in the long run.  I almost always think it through, analyze, read reviews, ask questions and get opinions.

I think it is safe to say we all think this way.  Most of us live full lives and don’t want to spend our time and money on things that we will later feel was wasteful.

So is having a postpartum doula REALLY worth it? Well, as a postpartum doula, I, of course, think the answer is YES!! But I would love to expand on this a bit more for you…

Envision this…

You have just spent the last 40 weeks carrying and nurturing your baby in your womb and have now completed the hard journey of labor and delivery.  Maybe this is your first baby, or maybe you’ve lost count, but wherever this new bundle of joy falls in your family’s birth order, their arrival means it is time to figure out your family’s new normal.

And the cold hard truth is newborns require A LOT of time and energy.

If you are breastfeeding, you will be nursing your baby 8-12 times a day, and at least every 2 hours at night, which leaves very little sleep for yourself.  And don’t forget, babies can be fussy and gassy and often don’t want to sleep when we want them to sleep. 

And how about you?  You just gave birth to your beautiful baby (you deserve a medal by the way!!) and you are probably still exhausted, maybe a bit depleted, and most likely a little (ok, a lot) sore.

And don’t get me started on the hormones (sigh).

Caring for your newborn can often feel like a full time job, leaving very little time for nurturing your body and for things that used to feel like a priority.

Are you supposed to juggle all of it on your own while also figuring out how to swaddle a screaming squirmy newborn? Nope! That is where someone like me, a postpartum doula, comes in.

When they said “it takes a village” they weren’t joking.  We all need help and support in our lives, especially during the delicate transition of bringing a new baby into the family.   

Whether it is support with breastfeeding or bottle feeding, help learning to swaddle or bathe baby, preparation of meals, getting into a new rhythm, help with pets, or giving you time to sleep, I can do all of that and much more.  Everything is customized to your family’s needs and your goals and hopes for the postpartum period.

My goal when I come into your home is to allow you to heal, rest, and bond with your sweet new baby all the while having the peace of mind knowing everything else is being taken care of.  The better cared for you are, the better cared for your baby will be. When you are taken care of after the birth of your baby, you will most likely heal quicker, get more rest, and feel more empowered overall as a mom - and from where I sit it doesn’t get much better than that!

As for my original question, is it worth it for you, your baby, and your family to get a postpartum doula? If you desire to have a smooth transition when baby arrives with support tailored to fit your needs, then yes, it is completely worth it. 

Find out more about our Postpartum Doula, Cortney Thomas here!

Confidence in Birth!

Scientists have found that positive thinking rewires our brains, can keep us from holding onto fears, and stop over-thinking and worrying.

Let's apply this to birth!

When planning and preparing for birth, some mothers, and even fathers, have fears about the experience they will be going through. The power of the mind is an amazing thing. Marie Mongan, founder of The HypnoBirthing Institute, states, " Every thought becomes a plan. If you think a negative thought or vision, it becomes a negative prediction; if you think a positive thought or vision, it becomes a positive prediction and plan." When the mind is dwelling on fearful images the body can be thrown into defense mode creating more tension for mom. 

In their bestseller book, The Confidence Code, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman talk about killing the NATs (negative automatic thoughts) as they are the "front line in the assault on confidence." Sadly, most people are consumed more with NATs than PATs (positive affirmative thoughts). 

So what can one do to remedy this? 

According to Kay and Shipman,  first you have to recognize them. You may even have to write them down. Then you take that negative automatic thought and turn it into a positive or neutral thought. 

Take the negative automatic thought, " I am afraid of birth transition" and change it to " I am strong and powerful in labor."

Reframing  becomes habitual when it is done regularly and can make a huge difference for mothers as they prepare for their births. Not sure how you can change some of those negative thoughts into positive ones? Ask your birthing companion, a close friend or even  your doula. To get you started please enjoy clicking the picture below for your free affirmation cards to print. Hang them where you will see them throughout the day and wipe away your NATs for birth. 

---